I was out on a family adventure, with my parents, my brother and his wife, my husband and my 2 year old son. There was a para gliding camp nearby and we thought of giving it a try, we were all set and we were all gliding at similar pace. Suddenly a storm hits and we all are misplaced and lost. The instructor who was with me had no idea as well. I was scared and by the time I could see anything I was over the sea. It was just water below me, miles and miles of it, with no land in sight, it frightened me to the core. I had no idea where anyone else is, where my son was.The uncertainty was killing me. I froze in that moment, I didn't wish to live or to die but I just wanted to know where my family was, were they safe? I just wanted to see them, to be with them. Suddenly I wake up and see my son sleeping besides me. I was so relieved to be #alive, to be in the comforts of my room with my husband and our son.
But, What if it wasn't a dream? Our #destiny is full of surprises, some good ones, that makes us smile ear to ear, while others so bad, they make us cry even years later. We live in those moments, we live from crying to laughing but we never realise the importance of our present. How difficult can it be to value your relationships? How difficult can it be to be aware of your surroundings and be grateful? What does it take to appreciate what you have in Life? I read this quote by #DalaiLama sometime back and I have never come across anything more profound,
When asked what surprised him about humanity the most, the Dalai Lama replied:
“Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
It's not easy to talk about Life and Death, but it is our reality. It is acceptance of this reality which makes me want to search Life more, it makes me want to value my relationships, it makes me want to thank God for giving me another breath, it makes me want to enjoy food, it makes me want to play with my son, it makes me want to dance, write and do whatever I want to do. For I want to live, and not die in every living moment.
Not to sound too depressed but I have asked this question to myself more than once, 'What will I regret the most if I were to die today?' And I have found the answer to it by now. I won't regret buying a dress on sale, or going to a vacation or even getting another piece of jewellery. I'd regret not being close to my family, I'd regret not smiling enough and making the most of every situation and every moment. I'd regret not dancing, not being able to express myself but most of all I'd regret not being the best version of myself.
Am I putting too much pressure on me when I say 'Best version of Myself'? I might, but how else can I push myself to work harder, to step out of my comfort zone, to do things for which I'll never have time. I want to focus on my health, I want to take control of my expenses, I want to have better relationships, I want my home organised beautifully which gives me positivity, I want to spread the message, 'Don't take your life for granted' and I want to believe that I, myself, can do it all.
I guess I just listed down what all I want from my Life. I'm going to follow up on these individually and I have a plan in progress for the same already. It might work out or it might fail, every single thing that I try to make it work can fail, but I wouldn't be regretting not trying it at all.
As they say 'An oops is better than a what-if '.