That feeling of starting something new is awesome and if its a goal to make yourself happy, it just makes you feel absolutely great.
There are a hundred things out there which can make us happy (and still we sit and brood, not cool right?), but are we doing any of those things? This question boggled me up. Yes we all have responsibilities and liabilities and chores and work and pretty much everything else but we have to think about ourselves as much. It takes a lot of effort to make ourselves our own VVIP. To understand that, yes, my peace of mind is as important as anyone else's and that my smile is more precious than .. wait .. do I sound too selfish? Thats too bad cos I am.
It doesn't mean I have to be mean to get my thing, or probably hurt other people's feeling but what it rather means is that I have to be aware of the fact that Happiness is contagious and that the more we train ourselves to be happy the more we'll radiate it outside and affect people around us. I know for a fact that I can turn a day as bad as I want to but it takes effort to make it a good one. I remember speaking to a counsellor once and she asked me 'how would you be if it was your birthday that day?' and thats true, you don't want to mess up your birthdays, you want to be happy that day to celebrate your presence and thats what I started doing. A conscious effort to take it easy and relax.
Do you know what else I did? I made a list of all the things that affect me and my mental well being, but I guess I'll go there in the next post, for now I'll hang on with the 'awareness' that its my job to keep me happy and that no one should be doing it for me. I don't want to rely on my near and dear ones to keep me happy, they do something good, good for me (and good for them and yes that'll make me happy too, so please keep doing) but first and foremost, I have to do it for myself.
Look around and if you look carefully, you can find happiness hiding in plain sight, waiting to be found. For me, it is when my baby does something new and looks at me for approval with pride in his eyes, or when he comes darting at me to give me a ‘tight hug’. It is when at the end of a rough day I look at my husband and forget everything else. It is when I still get to sleep in my mothers lap when I visit my parents. It is when i see my dad smile. It is when I find compassion in my family, when I am there for them and they’re there for me. It is when my friends push me even if I’m not sure. It is also when I'm all by myself, a good book and music for company. If I don’t look its nowhere but if I look its everywhere.
There will be days when I won't feel like it and even an attempt to remind myself to be happy would look superficial but even on those days I want to be able to remind myself that 'This too shall pass and people are living with greater problems and still smiling. Is my problem worse than the worst?', if the answer is 'No!' then just relax, cry if you have to, but be easy on yourself. After all ..
You Only Live Once!